One of the main questions when talking about adoption is - should the child be told that he/she is adopted. If so when do you tell the child? While there is no right or wrong answer - there are many diverse reactions and responses to the question.
I can only give you my point of view at the moment - however, if my readers wish to contribute their thoughts I would gladly run a kind of poll (except I am new to this blogging stuff - so I don't quite know how). However, I suppose if you were to leave me your comments I could make a log of them and then come back to you when I get a few responses.:)
My answer to this question is simple - "yes, they should be told and they should be told from day one, even if they are babies - they have a right to know". And, in my humble opinion if you tell them right from the start they are adopted, they will accept it gracefully. Yet, if they get to know years later - the betrayal of trust might be too much for them and a beautiful relationship may be ruined - by how they are told and by whom.
Unfortunately, in this world there are too many people who like to poke their noses where they are not needed and I have heard a few horror stories of how some unkindly aunt or other person in the family has blurted out the truth about their adoption to them. Can you imagine how a child will feel if in his/her formative years they suddenly find out that his/her parents did not give birth to them?
I remember when I was very young, a well meaning family friend who was very fond of me, always, used to tell me that I was actually her daughter and that my parents had adopted me. It did not help that I did not really look like either of my parents. It did do a lot to upset my little mind at that time - although she did it out of love, because she loved me in those days like her own girls. Grown-ups don't realise how much damage they can do sometimes by the things they say .............. and I am as guilty of it as the next person.......I'm sorry to say. But I am trying to watch what I say and I hope others will do so as well. It might help our next generations!
Anyway, back to the adopted child ............ how difficult is it to tell the child right from the start, that he/she is very special ....... as you have specially selected her from the millions of children out there in the world to be your very own child. If you make it a special thing and let them know from the beginning that they are adopted, they will always feel special.
They may still choose to find their birth parents, but, hey - would you not want to know where you came from if the positions were reversed. And every person has a right to know who his birth parents were. However, if you have loved them well and made them feel special to you they will always come back to you.:)
I can only give you my point of view at the moment - however, if my readers wish to contribute their thoughts I would gladly run a kind of poll (except I am new to this blogging stuff - so I don't quite know how). However, I suppose if you were to leave me your comments I could make a log of them and then come back to you when I get a few responses.:)
My answer to this question is simple - "yes, they should be told and they should be told from day one, even if they are babies - they have a right to know". And, in my humble opinion if you tell them right from the start they are adopted, they will accept it gracefully. Yet, if they get to know years later - the betrayal of trust might be too much for them and a beautiful relationship may be ruined - by how they are told and by whom.
Unfortunately, in this world there are too many people who like to poke their noses where they are not needed and I have heard a few horror stories of how some unkindly aunt or other person in the family has blurted out the truth about their adoption to them. Can you imagine how a child will feel if in his/her formative years they suddenly find out that his/her parents did not give birth to them?
I remember when I was very young, a well meaning family friend who was very fond of me, always, used to tell me that I was actually her daughter and that my parents had adopted me. It did not help that I did not really look like either of my parents. It did do a lot to upset my little mind at that time - although she did it out of love, because she loved me in those days like her own girls. Grown-ups don't realise how much damage they can do sometimes by the things they say .............. and I am as guilty of it as the next person.......I'm sorry to say. But I am trying to watch what I say and I hope others will do so as well. It might help our next generations!
Anyway, back to the adopted child ............ how difficult is it to tell the child right from the start, that he/she is very special ....... as you have specially selected her from the millions of children out there in the world to be your very own child. If you make it a special thing and let them know from the beginning that they are adopted, they will always feel special.
They may still choose to find their birth parents, but, hey - would you not want to know where you came from if the positions were reversed. And every person has a right to know who his birth parents were. However, if you have loved them well and made them feel special to you they will always come back to you.:)
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