Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Pregnancy after Rape...... Then What??? - Abortion, Adoption or Keep the Baby????


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Raped!!! -- What a horrifying situation to find oneself in, yet it happens the whole world over and even as I write at this moment, someone somewhere is being violated thus. What a sad world we live in! What joy does it give a rapist, to rape someone - even knowing that his advances are unwanted. How can anyone dehumanize himself to such an extent? Its hard to believe that the same body which holds the image of God within oneself - also, holds the image of the devil within itself. And when the devil lets himself out tragic things happen.

I would not wish it on my worst enemy (luckily I believe in making friends - not enemies) - but some people rape their wives, partners, friends and even their own family members. What a lot of sick people there are in the world.

What trauma must a person go through, when rape takes place, before, during and after the deed. Such a violation of one's temple (I equate one's body as one's temple - because the God in that person resides there). The feeling of being unclean, the humiliation if one goes to the cops to lodge an FIR - the endless questions they get asked about the most personal details of the rape. It must seem like they are being verbally raped again. What a whammy it is in their lives.......!!! Somehow, though, with the help of loved ones and friends they begin to build their lives again and then.........!!!
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Here comes a double whammy - the rape has taken a more sinister form -- in the shape of a little person on his/her way. I shudder when I think of all the emotions that must go through the raped person's mind knowing that the rape was not all... Now here is a lifetime of feeling the rapist's presence around them coming their way, in the form of a little bub.

I often put myself in that person's position and think, 'how would I have felt, if that had happened to me. I love children, always wanted a dozen. I do not believe in abortion, I believe in responsible parenting.

However even despite all that, I don't think I would have ever gone through the pregnancy to bring forth the rapist's baby. It is easy for pro-lifers to say "have the baby and adopt it out" - but really is that what would be best for the baby.

It would be hard enough for the victim to deal with the rape. Now this, Oh my Gosh!!! If she has the baby she will have to live her whole life loving a child, but hating its father who has so violated her. How will she explain to her child that he/she was born out of an act of violence rather than love? How will the child feel about it? How will the child deal with such terrible news? (And invariably such news does leak out). How will it effect the child's attitude towards the world and among other things, what if history repeats itself and the child becomes a rapist like his dad - how would she cope with it?

What would you and I feel if we were the child in question. I can't answer for you, but I might even hate my mother for letting me be born under the circumstances. And that again would be a double whammy for the child and the mother. How would the baby have felt to know that the father had raped his mother and he was not born out of love but out of lust? Is'nt life hard enough as it is, without throwing in such horrendous things for a child to have to deal with?

People will always have an opinion as to what the victim should do, but she needs to do what is right for her and for the child. She may decide to have the baby, because her religion forbids her to get rid of the child. Well, I would not listen to a religion that told me that, because, I would think of what the child would have to go through in life, rather than worry about those that are least affected by it all. But then, that is me, and fortunately, I have never had to deal in real life with this situation - but I do have sympathy for the victims (both mother and the unborn child) and I can empathize with the dilemma they find themselves in.

The only good news in this whole scenario is that there is help out there for all three people in the equation as there are now a lot of counselling and trauma centers, and they deal with helping not only the victim but the rapist as well, to figure out what is wrong with him and why he did what he did.
So to all those unfortunate women out there who have been in this sitation, my heart goes out to you. I wish I had more than just words to help apease your pain, however, I sincerely say to you, "Do what you think is best for you and the baby". You have to live with the decision you make for the rest of your life -- so make it a decision that fits in with your being. Don't let judgmental people makes decisions for your life. They don't have to live your life -- you do.
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1 comment:

  1. I would really welcome comments from women and children who have been in this unfortunate circumstance to leave their comments, if they will.

    Also, I would welcome those who feel strongly about this issue, in favour of abortion or against it to please respond as I would like to do a follow up on this issue.:)

    ReplyDelete